Sunday, April 7, 2013

Habs win statement game. And that statement is: Hey Boston, go fuck yourself.

Tonight, as I lay here naked on a polar bear rug typing this blog post, the Montreal Canadiens are a better team than the Boston Bruins.  That may not be the case next week, next month or next year.  But tonight, we own those black and gold bastards.  They beat the Bruins 3 out of 4 times and outplayed them in the one game they lost.  Tonight, they stood up to them.  They out skated them.  And aside from having a defenseman bounce off a bus called Lucic, we pretty much took it to them.  3 lucky goals were scored, but we got 2 of them.  So call it what you want, but I call that game a bitchslap across Humpty Dumpty's face.  That's right, I'm talking about you, Claude.  So did we embellish tonight?  Were you unhappy with the refs that handed out all of 2 minor penalties?  Or was the "bad ice" the reason you couldn't shoot during the last 60 seconds of play when you were up 2 men?  What was the issue?  Do tell, all of Montreal is sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to hear what the fuck you're gonna blame for your team's vaginal performance.  Let me save you the trouble.  You were outplayed, outcoached and out goaltended. And you're ugly.

After Emelin went down in the first period, the building was silent.  All you could hear was Tomas Kaberle popping bottles of Cristal in the hopes he would get to play for the first time since the Clinton administration.  The Dmen knew they would have to make up those lost minutes.  And that's just what they did. Markov, Subban, Gorges and Drewiske all played over 20 mins and gave Boston everything they could handle.  PK added 2 points to his already league leading total.  The Eller - Galchenyuck - Prust line was the most consistent.  They constantly put pressure in their zone, I forget how many great scoring chances they had.  Ryder continued to make Erik Cole look like Stephen Hawking on skates by scoring his 9th goal and 17th point in 17 games since the trade.  And what can be said about Carey.  The guy needed to come up big and he did.  No sloppy rebounds, no nervous puck handling expeditions.  Just a rock solid performance.

So to wrap up, the Habs stuck their big toe inside the Bruins' anus.  Any questions?

Triple Low Five all up in Julien's face.


Orangeman said...

TSN will still rank the Habs behind the broons next week. That's if they can get their hands out of their pants slobbering over Lucic.

Not only is this for real, we actually have a future to look ahead to. Pinch me.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Orange? Is that really you? Cool! How's Korea?