Thursday, November 28, 2013

Let us give Thanks. To us. Because we're back. And we're funny. Laugh. Now.

On this Thanksgiving,  it's important to reflect on what important.   And this year,  what could be more important than to call out all the disappointing Habs players so far.   You may think that complaining in the midst of a 4 game winning streak is in bad taste.   Well welcome to the PK'ISTS,  where we make a living on bad taste.   And by make a living,  I mean work for free. And by work,  I mean entertain.

Let us give thanks to René Bourque.   René,  you are the new David Desharnais.  The only difference is that Marc Bergevin doesn't feel the need to try and get you going.   You're the last guy's mistake.  So to make a long story short,  unless there's an ebola virus outbreak in the locker room,  you ain't playing.  Here's a bit of free advice.  Have your sorry excuses for testicles chit chat with @GallyGonads.  Maybe they can learn a thing or two about playing I  this league.


That's it.

Everybody else is either playing well,  playing OK,  or has such little expectations that nobody cares.   I'm talkin about you Mustache Megatron.   Also,  honorable mention should go to Area 51 and Cold Brière who happen to have been rediscovered a few days before this blog would have torn them new Assholes. Keep it up Davey & Dany.

So Happy Thanksgiving everybody!   Except you René.

A-Rab,  out.

Gobble gobble.


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

So... this is a bit Awkward.

WE'RE BACK BABY!!  Really looking forward to the season.  Can't wait to see how PK reacts after what he did last year.  And will Price and Davey bounce back?  What's that?  We're a quarter into the season already?  PK won the Norris and the blog that sports his name made no mention of it?  Fuuuuuuuuuuck.  My internet was down for a few months and I just assumed the NHL was in a lockout again.

Whatever, time to move forward.  Habs beat the Sabres tonight in OUR season opener.  I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.  4 wins in a row.  And aside from the turd of a team we just played, the other 3 wins were vs very good teams.  The real story these last few games has been the discovery of Area 51 and his partner in crime Max Pacioretty.  What the hell happened to those two?  I'm starting to think the porn star staches are what's behind their recent success.  In any case, they seem to be back, and not a minute too soon.  Gallagher's balls, who apparently have a twitter account with over 700 followers, were getting a little fed up with doing all the heavy lifting.

And what can we say about Carey.  The guy was being run out of town last summer and what does he do?  He got married.  Aaahhhh the power of the pussy.  You see, Carey was losing control of his shit.  Too much money, too many bitches, too much everything.  So the motherfucker got hitched.  Started focusing on playing hockey.  And like most married men, he probably prefers working late than hearing his wife complain.  So there you have it.  All Star goalie, kids are playing great, Markov's knee is still with us, and a certain defenseman is leading the team in scoring.  I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft.  I mean PK.  That badass motherfucker is burning up the league once again and probably sending texts to Marc Bergevin in the middle of the night that look something like this:

PK: Where's my money biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch?  Bridge contract?  I got your bridge contract right here.

There, you're caught up.

So stay tuned fellow PK'ists.  Weez back.  Next post should be up mid Feb.

A-Rab, Out.

Landmark Deal Signed as the NHL Renews Blogging Licence with PK'ISTS



The PK'ISTS and the NHL are proud to announce a groundbreaking deal that sees the PK'ists blogging rights which expired at the end of the 2012-2013 season renewed after furious negotiations.

Under the terms of this new landmark agreement, the PK'ists, who under the old agreement generated no income, will continue to get nothing.

As news of this shattering deal broke, PK'ist bloggers immediately voiced their relief.

"We were completely broke under the old contact, said Don's Cherries. This deal guarantees that nothing will change. We still have no money. Nothing. It's great."

"I couldn't wait to begin writing again for free, says HF4. I mean so much had happened. The Habs were eliminated, PK won the Norris. I mean for the love of Christ it's a blog dedicated to PK Subban and we couldn't write a single word about it. Now we can resume sharing our thoughts with millions of hockey fans  our mothers, and earn nothing for it. Not a penny."

The PK'sist writing schedule resumes today, right after our bloggers come back from their weekly visit to Employment Canada.

Hallelujah. Light your first light on the Menorah and consider this your first gift of the holidays: We're back and as broke as ever.