What's a black guy gotta do to get a contract around here?

Did you ever wonder what is going through this young man's mind? Don't bother wondering. I'll tell you exactly what. Don't ask me how, but I was able to implant a microchip in his brain. It took a while to get close to him and I ended up having to give him a roofie but it was totally worth it. This is the transcript that was generated from the experiment:

PK: How the fuck does everybody on this team get a deal before me? I play 30 minutes a game, become the defacto #1 defenceman on this team and for what?? To watch fuckin' Franky Boullion get his before me? Motherfuck Franky Boullion. I swear to god, if Darche gets a deal before me, I'm going to the AHL. The African Hockey League. I'm sure they run things better than the circus going on here. I don't even know why I bother with this team. They're gonna pay Gomez 8 million to score 2 goals while I go out there and bust my ass every night. I invented the triple low five for Christ sake. You think that kind of innovation grows on trees? Fuck this. I want 9 million a year.

Why on earth is this taking so long? Does anybody doubt this will eventually get done? No. So why piss him off in the process and risk losing him for spite? If he ends up signing a one or two year deal, the guy is gonna bolt the second it's over. This kid is the real deal. Pay him and move on. We overpay for half the assholes on this team, so what's the hold up?

I stand with you Pernell. Fuck the PO-lice.