Well, it's obvious what the problem was. After stinking up the joint against some of the NHL's worst teams, the Habs just put together 2 impressive wins against teams that on paper, are way better, tougher and meaner than them. Although the Habs didn't play their best, they played their game. Keep it close against a better, stronger team, lean on your goalie and capitalize on your chances. Might not be the prettiest win, but at this point, we need wins like HF4 needs black tar heroin and male strippers.
There can only be one explanation for this sudden turnaround. Perry Pearn was a cancer. And not just any cancer, testicular cancer. I'm gonna role with this analogy. The Canadiens are a scrotum. A scrotum that was once robust but that has wrinkled in recent years. The players are one testicle and management is the other. In the management testicle, Perry Pearn was a malignant tumor. The tumor was about to spread to the other nut, but as we saw in the last post, Molson chopped it off. So the Habs are now a monoball scrotum. That could be the most acurate analogy every conceived.
But it's not just that he was a malignant ball tumor. I can't reveal my sources, but I heard that he was the one that ruined Markov's recovery by smashing his knee with a sledgehammer... He's the Kathy Bates of the NHL. He's the one who distracted Carey on that shitty goal tonight. He's the one who counseled Geoff Molson on letting Ray Lalonde walk and taking over the marketing department. He's the one who told Rejean Houle to trade Roy. He's the one who told everybody to panic about Y2K. He's the one who shot JR. He's the one who put Nelson Mandela in jail. Fucking Perry Pearn. If we win Saturday, he is officially the antichrist.
There can only be one explanation for this sudden turnaround. Perry Pearn was a cancer. And not just any cancer, testicular cancer. I'm gonna role with this analogy. The Canadiens are a scrotum. A scrotum that was once robust but that has wrinkled in recent years. The players are one testicle and management is the other. In the management testicle, Perry Pearn was a malignant tumor. The tumor was about to spread to the other nut, but as we saw in the last post, Molson chopped it off. So the Habs are now a monoball scrotum. That could be the most acurate analogy every conceived.
But it's not just that he was a malignant ball tumor. I can't reveal my sources, but I heard that he was the one that ruined Markov's recovery by smashing his knee with a sledgehammer... He's the Kathy Bates of the NHL. He's the one who distracted Carey on that shitty goal tonight. He's the one who counseled Geoff Molson on letting Ray Lalonde walk and taking over the marketing department. He's the one who told Rejean Houle to trade Roy. He's the one who told everybody to panic about Y2K. He's the one who shot JR. He's the one who put Nelson Mandela in jail. Fucking Perry Pearn. If we win Saturday, he is officially the antichrist.
