On the Verge

You may have noticed by now that we are the Mahatma Ghandhis of blogging.

We protest by blogging silently - and by that I mean we don't write at all. 

Why must it be this way, you ask? Supply and demand. The basic, most fundamental rule of economics. Make them beg for it by making it rare. No one cares about commodities. I'm not lining up for flour or another Dave Matthews concert tour. 

Hopefully, by posting 3 times this season, we have amassed millions of fans who are all now parched with gaping mouths ready to suck on every drop of text we provide.

That could be the reason. Or it could be the 43 diapers A-Rab and I change per hour. No - we haven't made a child together, although I suspect we would get on well if we had. He's a loving man and I make excellent cassoulet, but we do not yield to that wondrous Macklemore Same Love persuasion (we do celebrate the men and women who do - anyone who raises a child should be given an honorary pen or pony). No, my co-blogger and I had children 10 days apart a few months back, both our second child. These babies protest the idea of sleep with the conviction of the LA Clippers at centre court. And so they have muted our pens.

Our first borns have taken to their new sibling with the warmth of a middle eastern peace summit which has made for some complicated and time consuming problem solving. They too are responsible for our reclusive ways. 

But this is Habs Bruins. And it's Game 7. And if not now, then never. And let it be known here and now: our next post should be on the eve of the New Hampshire Republican primaries in the 2016 US elections. 

A few years back, we put this site together because we knew what kind of player PK Subban was going to become. 

He is the best defenceman to play in Montreal since Larry Robinson. He is the most charismatic player to wear the CH since Patrick Roy. He plays every night, every shift. At times, he can be accused of overplaying the game and every shift. Until last month, the awe in this regard was contained to this city; Montrealers knew what they had and with every attack on PK's defensive mindset or hockey sense we cried foul, because PK's natural talent and willingness to be all-world were indisputable. Duncan Keith and Drew Doughty don't turn the puck over? Ever? 

Because of PK's brash demeanour, he is judged by different standards and that's fair - but it should be the opposite effect. Don't judge him for the vocal way he carries himself on and off the ice - embrace his passion for the game and the fact that he is so compelled to shatter the mold of the ever so bland, restrained and almost apologetic hockey player. Celebrate his revelling in the spotlight because that's what sports mythology is built on - players who want the ball, the puck, the at bat when the game is on the line. Players who aren't afraid to ask for it. And who execute when they do. 

Subban was on another level against Ottawa in the first round of the playoffs last year. Game 1 stands out as one of the most inspiring displays of hockey I've ever seen. 

But what PK has done this spring is altogether jaw dropping. The numbers speak for themselves but they only paint a portion of the picture. His energy is limitless, his desire to win is uncharted. He won't yield. Even down 4-1 against Boston in a listless Game 5 at TD Garden, he makes it a point to serve notice on the Bruins with a deafening slapshot beyond an overwhelmed Tuuka Rask at the end of the game. His way of saying, this is not over.

Against the Boston Bruins, PK has been legacy building. This is the most intense rivalry in the NHL, one of the most storied in sports. To give it its proper depiction, the stage for this series is larger and more daunting than the Stanley Cup final - that's how engrossing this duel is. It takes a special breed to rise to that occasion. No skater on either team has managed to make the kind of impact PK has on this series. He is the best player on the ice, he possesses the best and most accurate shot (something Zdeno Chara has not managed to accomplish thus far in the series), he has a thrilling attitude, he delivers in the clutch, and he does nothing to shy away from this impossible level of competition - on the contrary, he invites it. 

The amazing thing is through it all, PK has been forced to address new attacks on his status as a black player in the NHL. Of course, this is not the despair of a Robinson living in a state of emotional isolation as he broke the colour barrier in baseball, but it is a distraction as a result of a hateful view of his race - and nobody who has been a victim of racism is impervious to it. There is that spin that PK must address from time to time, that a player like say Sidney Crosby or Jonathan Toews will never know or be obliged to fight through. That makes PK Subban an inspiration as he continues to collect accolades in the face of violence.

This Canadiens team is young and promising. Yes we may realize what we have when this is all done. Much like in 93 when the dark horse Habs made us realize that, hey, Damphousse, Muller, Bellows, Roy Schneider, Leclair, Desjardins - that's a stellar lineup, no kidding they took the cup home.

And it may all end tonight with these Habs taking huge steps to becoming a force in this league for years to come.

The nice thing is that either way, win or lose tonight, unless PK takes a page out of Donald Sterling's book and rants about how he doesn't want his girlfriend to bring white people to Habs games, we no longer have to live with the PK complex. We no longer have to convince the league that they should be paying closer attention and try to see what we're seeing. It is now evident.

PK on the ice speaks for itself - but in case you're unsure, the best quote in the NHL will be verbose enough to remind you how anti-generic and special he is. 

  

LIFE OF PK

I can't believe my story went straight to DVD.

I mean, my whole life, I've been happy, content, and then in a split second, on a Carnival cruise last month, my life became a living hell.

Something happened on the ship. The boat hit a wave and the tilt disconnected the cable service. No Netflix, no WI-FI. A nightmare by anyone's standards. I did what any sensible human being would do. I threw myself off the boat and swam for dear life.

But I wasn't alone. Like the Bruins that have tormented my soul since I entered the league, a bear who too could not tolerate the inhumane conditions on the ship also jumped off in the hopes of a better fate. Those damn Bruins. Here I am tearing up their goalies and what do they do? They draft my brother Malcolm. What am I supposed to do now? Make mama cry?

Anyways, some helpless internet-less soul on the boat probably witnessed the situation unravel because before I knew it, the bear and I were both making for a lifeboat that had been tossed over.

"Richard Park! Swim Richard Park, you can do it Richard Park!"Crap! I just invited a full grown bear on a lifeboat with me! What was I thinking?!??

Richard Park was an enormous beast, - a famous bear from the Boston Zoo - and all his presence did was constantly remind me of Zdeno Chara. What luck. For days, I refused to leave the tarpaulin in the hopes that I could outlast Richard Park, my Asian bear, but alas, the will of Richard Park was strong.

How could I defeat the bear?! I could barely outlast the Bruins and this was just a re-enactment of my failed fortunes. I figured it out though. By my calculations, we would be rescued in 7 days. The "What to do if you're a shipwrecked professional hockey player" manual in the boat came in very handy. A person needs to drink 4 days out of 7 if he is to survive. Drinking for 3 days during this period will be fatal.

Simple.

Richard Park would not deny me my fluids, nor my intake of raw fish. Man can't live without his sushi. It was a gruelling task, trying to tame the bear for seven days. Most days, I felt he wasn't even that thirsty, I personally felt he was embellishing. He looked hydrated to me.

Whining, whining, whining, that's all Richard Park would do. And then one day he had had enough and tried to break my head across the bow. Totally against castaway rules. "No, Richard Park! This is my boat! This is my head! You will not claw me to my death! Do you hear me Richard Park! Do you hear me you ugly bear!!!"

Richard Park was not amused. I knew that this bear would go to the extent of his convictions. A few years back, Richard Park had been invited with the rest of his zoo-mates to the Whitehouse to put on a show for Sasha's birthday (or was it Malia...). Richard Park refused. The animals all put on a great circus act but Richard Park stayed home, protesting the President's treatment of Asian bears and Asian actors in Judd Apatow comedies. He posted his views all over Facebear.

Richard Park was a serious creature. But I found ways to defy the odds and I drank my ration of fluids 4 days out of 7.

But it took 7 days. And I was running out of tricks.

On the seventh day, with a few seconds left before sundown, I had to do something. Time was running out. And that's when I caught a glimpse of the strangest thing. This enormous bear, for all his massive girth had the tiniest penis. "Richard Park! Your penis is so small! Look at your little bear penis, Richard Park! Look at those little balls!" Richard Park didn't like that at all. It agitated him. He protested more than ever before. So I decided to pull out the all-important penis measuring rule from the castaway playbook. I measured Richard Park's penis. It was indeed tiny by bear standards. The bear knew it. I knew it. Richard Park was defeated. He threw himself off the lifeboat.

The story of my survival is a harrowing tale. But a bear with penis envy is condemned to a life that makes a Carnival cruise seem like a ...(how the hell do you even finish that sentence...)

What's the Use, or the Point, or the Purpose

Benoit Pouliot finds it conduct befitting an ex-Hab to look like Jaromir Jagr plugged into a walkman playing Mozart when he comes back to play on Montreal Ice.

Tim Thomas has to look like an epileptic octopus when the Habs leading goal scorer, Max Pacioretty, appears to have him beat on the shootout.

Erik Cole raises hope when he ties the game at an improbable 3-3 in the third after the Canadiens seemed done for heading into the sworn enemy that has been the third period of a hockey game.

When the Habs play the Bruins, there's enough happening on the ice to create intrigue.

Unfortunately intrigue is a weak substitute for points which the Habs are in dire need of after the Leafs beat the Oilers in overtime last night to restore a fairly commanding 8-point lead over Montreal.

It's becoming senseless to reference the standings. It's like having an open thread about a Fidel Castro speech: yup, he's still talking, yup, it's still boring as hell, yup still talking...

But we're paid to blog for free because we have to  just really love the game so much we would do anything for a buyout offer to just be part of the conversation.

I liked Randy Cunneyworth a whole lot last night. It's the first time in a long time I see some form of emotion coming from a Canadiens bench boss. It's Montreal/Boston and Randy got into the spirit of things. I have to say, I'm encouraging him to pick up a bescherelle because I see no reason for him to not stick around a few more years.

AK has made his first real polarizing off-ice statements and the coach rewarded him with about 13 minutes of ice-time and enough power play time to chew and swallow a mini tic tac. Phone calls will be made and a deal may have to occur now that AK has changed his tune about definitely wanting to stay in Montreal. To be specific the tune was:

- I want say in Montreal, Montreal good. I play hockey.

Now it's more like:

- Montreal, no good hockey, where is suitcase.

Life will go on without you AK, as did most games in which you participated.

The Habs are sellers now. PG and the gang must attune themselves to this reality. Jump on the blessing in disguise that was the loss to the Canes to clarify your mission statement: dump salary and rebuild for next year. Don't make that little 4-game winning streak a trojan horse you'll ride all the way to 9th place and a shitty draft pick. And don't waste time thinking about horses wearing trojan condoms. That won't get you anywhere either.

I'm hoping for some movement soon because we're going to have a hard time avoiding the redundancy that is reviewing meaningless games. It's like watching the GOP leadership race.

The Morning and Afternoon Bell and Habs-Bruins Game Preview for Thursday January 12, 2012

Today's honorary ringer: Mike Cammalleri.

So who cares if Cammy says it the way it is. He's pissed, he's not contributing, he's upset the new coach isn't using him to the levels he was used to and he uttered a few words that made international headlines.

Really, do we have nothing better to do than criticize Cammalleri for being pissed in front of a camera. Right or wrong, it's a trivial story detail. Let's get on with it.

The Habs now play the Bruins tonight, another huge test that will measure where the team stands right now. The first 2 games of 2012 offered slightly compelling narratives. The Jaro fest was ugly. It was a nice night for the Slovak but Jaro did not have to make 40 saves to win the game. The Habs made it easier for the Blues.

Another big opponent tonight with the Bruins battling for the Conference lead. Look at these Bruins as the new Flyers of the 70's, the Causeway Bullies. Tough from the goal out. Offensively creative, big on D, big up front, skilled, blue collared. After stumbling out of the gate, the Bruins are now poised to make another run. Forget the Habs, think of the upcoming playoffs as something to salivate over. One can only hope for a final 4 involving Boston, Philly, the Rangers and a team like the Devils or the Penguins. Heck even the Caps, outside looking in, can complete the formidable quatro.

Montreal has played decently if not to say quite well against the Bruins this year. It's a rivalry that just naturally extracts the competitive juices out of the players. Because a win against the Bruins, Leafs, Habs means more than a win: it's a psychological statement that rolls into the chapters that make up the continuous and never ending storyline. The Kovy hit on Tucker, the Chara hit on Pacioretty, whatever it is, even when the players are long gone, it continues to fuel the dynamics of the interminable script and therefore enhances the emotional volume of the next game.

Habs-Bruins means a win is more than a win. Montreal can say they took 3 out the first 4 of the new year and start using that as a swivel to propel them into a run for the playoffs that becomes more legitimate.

Tonight it means the team has to dedicate itself to impeccably sound hockey. Carey has little margin for error, the power play has to click, the D has to play a tight road game and leave the unnecessary fancy shmancy behind - yes you, PK, and the forwards have to skate hard and force the Bruins into costly mistakes. It's a tall order. An order so tall that it would look down and see Zdeno Chara's head.

2 FOR 1 Legal Essay/Game Preview: Chara Case Dismissed: Why Now?

The Case

Last week, the Crown prosecution decided that it didn't have enough evidence to try the Zdeno Chara case. Without sufficient proof, there would be no sense in investing time and tax funds towards a compromised file. Nobody saw enough to mount a convincing dossier that would ultimately lead to a conviction.

Zdeno evil. Hear no evil.

The Chara-Pacioretty incident dates back to March 8, 2011. It goes back a few more weeks when you take into account the mini-scuffle that broke out after Pacioretty shoved Chara from behind following a Habs overtime winner. Chara took exception to the cheap shot and may or may not have registered the incident for future use. That specifically, the motive, the premeditated nature of what transpired on March 8 will always remain a mystery to anyone not named Zdeno Chara or God Almighty. And last time I checked you can't subpoena God's files so the Crown would always be lacking in hard proof.

The case is interesting because you can be sure the pendulum would have swung the other way had Pacioretty been left in a wheelchair for life after the hit Chara levelled on him. That is frustrating because Pacioretty was only a faint distance from that fate. The act in and of itself remains the same. The intent to injure and the premeditation that one may only speculate on are as nebulous in one scenario as they are in the other. You can be certain that what got Chara off was not the lack of evidence but rather the mild long term effects of the injury.

So why dismiss the case now? Some of you may know that although I blog professionally and have become extremely powerful as a result, I also practice law full-time. Although I'm not a criminal lawyer and have a personal distaste for that brand of our trade, I do understand the general construct of our criminal system. You can't discount two essential facts - One, the prosecution only tries when it's virtually certain it will win and Two, P.R. is a very prominent consideration in the fabric of criminal cases.

Over 400 000 criminal cases are brought into the criminal system every year in Canada. On average, the words "not guilty" are uttered only 3% of the time. The files are either settled out of court or dropped altogether as soon as the crown deems that the weakness in its file presents enough of a dent to justify some form of judicial restraint.

So why did the Crown take so long to bow down?

This is where the public relations come into play. Imagine someone is charged with a hit and run. The media at first swirls around the story: the first shots of the body bag on a stretcher, the family in tears, the first glimpse of the accused shuffled into a court room. At these early stages of a file, the spotlight is very ON and the public isn't ready for a compromise. If you're going to settle a file, you do it when the story dies down, when the risk of public outcry has diminished enough to do the deal in relative tranquility. You do it when the media isn't swirling around in droves. I was once asked to wait for a settlement around Christmas time where things are usually quiet and people are less concerned with these types of stories.

Imagine the backlash had the Crown made its decision to not pursue the matter a few weeks after the incident. At the time, everyone had an opinion on the topic: the NHL, the league's major sponsor Air Canada, the media, Max Pacioretty, Geoff Molson in a letter to the fans. It was the story du jour.

Today, nobody really cares and when the story broke last week on the Crown's decision to drop the matter, it almost went unnoticed. It was an afterthought, a side story. It's exactly what the prosecution wanted. Quiet, subdued and subtle.

Quiet, subdued and subtle. Not how we can expect to depict tonight's game.

The Game


The only thing that would serve as a truer measure of where the Habs actually stand today is if tonight's game were in Boston. Games on Bruin ice always stand as a brutal test of fortitude and resolve. But a game in Montreal against these same Bruins will do.

Boston is riding a monster winning streak with 8 victories. The Bruins like the Habs have overcome a slow start and are gunning for a spot in the top 8. They look like they'll get there and stay there for the rest of the season.

Montreal is a confusing team to say the least and it's looking more and more obvious that the inconsistency is attributable to a decimated core that is trying to cope with life in the NHL as a B team. Too many injuries to too many key players. It's incredible that they are still hurting the league's best teams in spite of their depleted roster.

Cole and Pacioretty are still huge. TP is selke smooth. Carey is unfazed now by his poor start. Gomez began something on Saturday and we look forward to a carry over effect. Otherwise we invite him to carry his bags over to Hamilton.

It should be a dandy.