Tonight is the night... Habs look to become the Least from the East

Tonight might be the most revealing night of the season, and the Habs are not even playing. With a win vs the not so mighty Ducks of Anaheim, the Carolina Hurricanes will pass the Montreal Canadiens in the standings, leaving us in LAST PLACE. 15th out of 15th in the East. 28th out of 30 overall. I for one think we can do better. Who the hell do the BJs and Oilers think they are? By the way, am I the only one who giggles when saying Oilers and BJs in the same sentence? Focus DC...Focus.

Unfortunately, the BJs are just too far back to catch up to us. Don't get me wrong, I believe the Habs are crappy enough not to win another game all year, but the BJs are also shitty enough to do the same. And that's with Rick Nash on their team.

So that leaves you Edmonton. It's time you get off your ass and move up to 28th. You've had your share of great 1st round picks and now it's our turn. We'll do our part by losing more 3rd period leads and getting shut out at home, but you have to pull your weight and win a few games to catch up.

With the 2nd pick (and who knows, maybe we move up to #1 with a little luck in the lottery), Pierre Gauthier will be in perfect position to shock the TSN panel and pick a Ugandan kid who may never have skated but can use a hockey stick to impale a gazelle running at full speed.

Before we go any further, yes I am aware this Ugandan hockey sensation has white hands.

Now according to the IFMUHS (Institute For Made Up Hockey Stats), the Canadiens have never been in last place this late into the season. Never. The IFMUHS also states that according to a sophisticated quality-price ratio calculator, Scott Gomez is worth less to an NHL team than a fly ridden turd sandwich is to a wall street billionaire. And who are we to argue with sophisticated quality-price ratio calculators?

So keep a close eye on the scoreboard tonight. At around 9:30pm, it might be a done deal.