The Lost Boys - The Only Game Review that Matters

I reckon that a few hours before the home opener against the Flames, Geoff Molson rallied his marketing team at the Bell Centre offices.

It probably went like this.

- Molson: Lookit, the game starts in three hours and we got no opening ceremony.

-Random staffer: Yeah, Geoff, we've been trying to tell you for weeks that we have to get..

-Molson: SILENCE! (imagine him sounding like Ian Mckellen there). We've got a ceremony to prepare and it's gotta be perfect! The years past have been awesome. That 24 theme with Jack Bauer with Kiefer being all kickass Jack and stuff, wooooo! And the awesome music over the years, U2 and the Killers, just instantly recognizable great stuff. And what about the montages. The home to rink one a few years back or last year's comic book strip. Man those were too good. Well we've gotta be that good today.

- Random staffer: Any ideas?

-Molson: Where's Ray Lalonde?

-Staffer: He doesn't work here anymore.

-Molson: What the fuck!?

-Staffer: You didn't know he left?

-Molson: Focus people. We've got a major show to put on here.

- Staffer: What's our budget?

- Molson: Seventeen dollars. You've got 3 hours and 17$ to set up the best damn opening bit this city has ever seen. Now that's the best working conditions I've ever heard of. When I was a kid I used to make honey ale by extracting honey drops right out of a bee's ass. It hurt like hell. Ok first things first, what kind of music do we use?

- Staffer: Arcade Fire's big right now, local gig, Grammy win..

- Molson: I GOT IT! We're gonna play a song by INXS!

- Staffer: Really?

- Molson: Fuck yeah really.

- Staffer: Which one? Bitter tears, I need you tonight? Suicide Blonde?

- Molson: Never heard of em. No, we're going to play a song from INXS from the soundtrack of the movie the Lost Boys. It's called Good Times. Kiefer was so badass in that too!

- Staffer: What?

- Molson: Yeah and for the montage, we're gonna take the old home to rink clip the team shot a few years back and you're gonna photoshop the heads of the old players like Saku and Kovy and shit and replace them with today's boys. People are going to FREAK OUT! It's gonna be so cool.

- Staffer: Geoff, I don't..

- Molson: Shushh, I'm on a roll here. Then I want you to tell Michel Lacroix to introduce the players in totally random fashion. No alphabetical crap, and don't get me started on numerical order. Just toss the names in a bag and throw the players out on the ice in the order the names pop out. Totally hip stuff.

- Random staffer: And where do the players line up?

- Molson: In a circle like last year.

- Staffer: Should we tell them where to stand.

- Molson: Are you freaking serious? The guys know how to stand in a full circle. Ok that's it. INXS, song only I've ever heard of, Lost Boys, rehashed montage, perfect circle at centre ice! 17 bucks, 3 hours. Man I've got goose bumps.

Editor's note: We're pretty sure the Lost Boys theme had a trickle down effect. Habs looked somewhat foggy, Flames looked sharp and Kiefer Sutherland's ego was stroked gently. 4-1 and Calgary made it look easy. Driving home during the third was a no-brainer. Just like opting for Good Times by INXS from the soundtrack the Lost Boys, a movie that came out in 1987, a year where nobody cared about the song Good Times or the movie the Lost Boys.