Friday, January 20, 2012

Game review: Habs blow it again, lose 5-4 to Pens. And not the good kind of blowing.

You know things are going badly when your team is up 4-2 and you still consider them the underdog. I'm starting to think that they want to lose. How can a team systematicaly lose leads like this in the 3rd period? How can a team be 1-7 in the shootout?? How can Dustin Jeffrey score 2 goals against us? What the fuck is happening???

At this point, it's not about wins and losses, it's about how it's physically possible to lose with such consistency. At least they don't descriminate. The Habs are willing to lose in any way. Shutout? Of course. Lose a lead? Our specialty! Shootout no show? Yes please! We lose to the good teams, the bad teams, the injured teams... You name it, we lose it.

There are no words for this. PK's giveaway, AK's stick explosion, it's like the hockey gods are pissing all over us. And what was up with Gomez's move on the shootout (and I use the word move loosely)? He didn't do a damn thing. I too can skate in a straight line and shoot directly on the goalie. And I'll do it for only 4million. I just want him to slip in the shower and tear every ligament in his body. Then, as he's being rolled into the ambulance, the EMT decides to do an unnecessary prostate exam without any lube. Using his big toe. But before the ambulance can drive off it catches fire and explodes. Then, after finding his badly burned body, his stretcher would be wheeled out to the side of the road, where an out of control bus would run over it, breaking the rest of his bones. Once at the hospital, he would wait 16 hours in the ER like the rest of us. Then, as he's about to see the doctor, his scrotum would litteraly fall off. Then we buy him out.

Here is who I like on this team this year: Cole, Pacioretty, Desharnais, Gorges and Cole. I also like Cole and think that Cole is pretty good. But my favorite has to be Cole. The rest of this shitty team should get on their hands and knees and beg us not to lapidate them. My dream would be to throw the first stone. Right off of Kaberle's head and ricochet into Gauthier's eye. I know you can't tell as you're reading this, but I'm really pounding the keys as I type.

So let's set our sights on achievable goals. I think it's safe to say that Columbus has last place locked up, but if we focus, I think we can be a solid 2nd to last. Carolina and Tampa have the horses to pass us and then there's only Edmonton and Anaheim in our way. I know we can do this. All we have to do is play the Montreal Canadiens brand of hockey we all love. No rough stuff, zero effort in 3rd periods, absolutely no net presence and, I can't stress this enough, absolutely no power play efficiency of any kind. That my friends, is how WE play the game. Peace.


GoldenGirl11 said...

I enjoyed that.

DarthAlexander said...

I enjoyed this as well. Problem is, you've set your sights too low. We can reach 30! Come on, they won't let us down this year will they?

I really want them to draft John Mizdanet from the Alberta Beer League first over-all!

Steve said...

The question is often asked, why dont we have a player like Malkin?

soperman said...

I would add Price to my list of likes. It seems to me they are leaving him out to dry may nights; not that I have seen too many games. They are not worth the $3 per month I would pay for RDS.

KmaXXX said...

When I was a little boy, skating along the ice covered road to the rink one of the first things my Dad ever taught me was when I was holding my stick in one hand, blade up, I should tap the butt end of the stick on the ground. If it sounded a bit hollow or vibrated a bit, it was broken. No amount of tape would help me. Do they not teach them shit like that in Russia?