Wednesday, February 15, 2012

¡Ay Caramba!

Randy Ladouceur: Listen you you little as&*?%$!!! Even if  I have to drill it into you, you'll do it MY WAY. 

Escott: Frankly coach La Dulce, I no think there is mushroom for improving it. I do it as bess I can! 

Randy Ladouceur: I don't like the cut of your jib Selena, in fact I'm fu*%$ sick of your bull&?!!!!

Escott: But la familia Gomez has been doing it like this for generations with exquisite results!

Randy Ladouceur: Exquisite? Even my  housekeeper Adriana can do this better than you!      

Escott: Well my abuela Maria could do it better than jew and she only had Juan hand!

Randy Ladouceur: Now you listen to me you little chiwawa, I'm going to repeat this one last fuc&? time so pay attention: FIRST, you soak your beans for AT LEAST 24 hours. THEN, you heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat and add your rice and beans. THEN, you cook until puffed and golden and voilà BITCH, ARROZ CON FRIJOLES MOTHER FUC&*?%!!!!

Escott: Hay dios mio Raul! Thank you so mach! I was too hungry to realize I had todos los ingredients, the order and the timing completely wrong. 

Randy Ladouceur: It's ok mi hermano. You'll learn eventually. Good job on that drill by the way! 

Escott:  Gracias for the recipe Ramon. I came close to instant-anusly poisoning the hole team.      


Steve said...

I think all jews can not believe he will play tonite.

soperman said...

Methinks "la douche" is not a warm and fuzzy guy. Perhaps he should coach the broons. He has the Claude Julien hairstyle going on as well as the broon assholishness.

DarthAlexander said...

God I love this site. This is really epic. Some of the best laughs I have had in a very long time.

Public Domain said...

sheesh - why can't I come up with a good fart joke when I really need too..

DarthAlexander said...

A woman leaning at the bar said to me 'I love the strong silent type'. 'You mean a man like me?' 'No, farts, like the one I've just done!'

Sorry..that's all I could find at the moment.

HabsFan4 said...

The pope is on an official visit to the United Kingdom. He's met on the tarmac by the Queen who insists he visit the royal stables.

Once they get there, she takes him in to admire some of the finest horses in the country. As they walk by these gracious beauties, one of the horses lays a tremendous fart.

The Queen is horrified. "I'm so sorry your Holiness, I don't know what to say, I don't have the words to express my embarrassment, I'm so terribly ashamed!"

The pope looks at the Queen and says: Really, it's ok, I thought it was the horse."