Monday, November 21, 2011

TP. Can't live without it (him).


It's time to give credit where credit is due. The Montreal Canadiens have been grossly overacheiving this season. Our defensive core has been decimated, our $8M centerman has the talent of a soy bean, Mike Cammalleri has been slow out of the gate, Price had his issues in the first 8 games, PK hasn't been himself, Cole just arrived last week, AK's been hurt, and the list goes on and on.

So what can we attribute this success to? Well, none other than TP. To some, TP is our never injured, always steady "2nd" line center, Tomas Plekanec. To others, TP is the indispensible roll of white pillowy soft paper we all desperately need to get through our daily lives. And then it hit me. TP is to the Habs what TP is to the rest of us. Who do you turn to to clean up a shitty mess? TP. Who do you need when you can't find a kleenex? TP. Who do you notice only when he's not doing his job? TP. What is the only thing between your bare ass and a public toilet? TP. One can say that Tomas Plekanec is the human equivalent of toilet paper. Kind of boring, never the life of the party, but it saves your ass every time.

Some may take this the wrong way. DC, how dare you compare this guy to toilet paper?? He's a great player. Damn right he is. And toilet paper is perhaps the most underappreciated thing in this world (after Nutella). Do you ever sit there and thank god you have access to this stuff? If not, try wiping your ass with leaves next time and let me know how it goes. Do you ever notice when there is no more toilet paper? Probably not until it's too late. Tomas has been the backbone of our offence for the last 4 years. Yet ne never gets the credit he deserves, the loudest cheers or the media's attention. How many Pleky jerseys are out there? 8? And 4 of those belong to his mother. Hab fans are all into Price, PK, Cammy, Markov, Gio, but where is Tomas in all this? He's right there at the top of the score sheet. Getting his point a game, killing penalties and working the point on the pp (much to this blogger's dismay).

Has anyone even noticed that he's 2 assists shy of the league lead?? Or that he's put up 5 straight 20 goal seasons? He does everything we ask. He cleans up the shit, he's used for things he wasn't intended, his hands are soft like cotton and his eyes absorb everything around him (ok, that was reaching). TP is TP. We need him, we love him (even if we don't always show it) and without him, we're in deep shit.


Spanish subtitles courtesy of El Conkistator.

6 comments:

Steve said...

@Don, so true, if Gomez was a twenty goal scorer we would have a very solid team even without Makrov.
@GG show some respect, how about the huggy bear head instead of the roll?

HabsFan4 said...

I can feel the cottony softness, DC! Well said old chum.

El Conkistador said...

En mi casa, we only jews Escott towel...

karimisbetterthanyou said...

Toilet paper hasn't changed in our lifetime and probably never will..

Don's Cherries said...

@karim what are you talking about? It's softer, more sheets per roll, comes in a variety of colors...

Steve said...

In reality TP is so 20th century, no one in Japan uses it.