Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The morning Bell for Tuesday December 6th 2011

Today's not so honorary ringer: Pierre "I'm a fucking liar" Gauthier

Hey jerkoff. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you Mr. Gauthier. Didn't you just finish telling us Mr. Markov would be out 3 weeks or so? So why are they now saying 4-6 weeks? And considering the patient, let's just assume it's 6 weeks. Did you get confused with the 3 and the 6 again? Were you too busy doing dick all about all the problems we're having? You either are a complete idiot who doesn't know how to listen to doctors or this is the conversation that took place:

Mr. Gauthier: Doc, how long will Mr. Markov be out after his 34th surgery?

Dr. Asshole: I don't know, I'm a proctologist.

Mr. Gauthier: Ballpark it for me.

Dr. Asshole: I don't know, a month maybe?

Mr. Gauthier: Well I'm gonna tell the press it's 3 weeks.

Dr. Asshole: He has more chances of developing another rectum in 3 weeks than he does playing NHL hockey.

Mr. Gauthier: Can I go back to bed now?

Dr. Asshole: Yes, right after I milk your prostate.

Mr. Gauthier: Fantastic. Use 3 fingers this time. And no glove.


DarthAlexander said...

Thanks. Now I'll have the image of PG getting fingered in the ass for the rest of the day. You do know I shall never be able to look at the guy the same way again. :)

So what happens first?:

Markov comes back or Gomez scores a goal.

Don's Cherries said...

Excellent question. I hope it's Markov because if Gomez scores before the end of the year, he gets a $21M bonus.

Steve said...

PG just announced a very successful amputation of Markov's leg below the knee and changed his status to indefinite.