Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Who's in the mood for a BJ?

The Montreal Canadiens renew hostilities with Western Conference foes this week as they host the Columbus Blue Jackets on Tuesday night. I always thought the Blue Jackets was a funny name. I know it has a historical significance relating to Ohio's participation in the American civil war, but in Montreal, the strip club capital of the world, a BJ has nothing to do with civil war. Anyways, time to get my mind out of the gutter and preview Tuesday's contest.

Is it me or have the BJs always sucked? It seems like ever since they came into the league, the BJs have sucked. When we're lucky, they even suck balls. You would think that after all that sucking, they would eventually get hard (to beat), but no. They continue to suck.

Habs get their first BJ meeting of the season on Tuesday. They've wanted one for a while but the schedule made it so that they don't get the BJ until early December. Only a few teams get the BJ several times a year. Detroit, Nashville, Chicago and St-Louis get 6 BJ meetings a year. Lucky them! No wonder Jaro is happy.

Although the BJ has had a rough start to the season (1 win in their first 10 games), they always seem to give the Habs issues. Habs logic states that the Canadiens always play down to their competition, so needless to say, I'm worried. The BJ always seem to come around in Montreal. A few years ago, Bob Gainey's jersey retirement ceremony was ruined by the BJ. Poor Bob took the time to lace up the skates and take a victory lap around the ice just to have the BJ rain on his parade by shutting us out 3-0.

On Tuesday, I'll be attending my first BJ game in 3 years. I'm psyched. I've been watching old BJ games on the internet all weekend. Did you guys know that you can find all kinds of BJ games online for free?? It's amazing.

For a team with very little success, the BJ always find a way to be entertaining. I have season tickets and I never have a problem selling a BJ game. This one time, I was walking down the street at night and a guy asked me for a BJ game. I sold it to him for a healthy profit. He turned out to be a cop. Who figures a cop wants a BJ game on a Wednesday night! He was gonna arrest me but after I gave him the BJ game for free, he was so excited that he let me go.

This year, our old friend James Wisniewski will be returning as a BJ. We all remember that he was suspended for the first 8 games of this season but has 12 points in 18 games since his return but only 1 goal. That is one expensive BJ even if he has a money shot.

So tonight, put your feet up, relax, and enjoy the BJ. It's the only one you'll get all year.

You know what might help the BJ finally get over the hump? A meeting with Colonel Angus.

Interesting fact about the BJs: For some reason, they are Bill Clinton's favorite team.


Steve said...

The only thing more ridiculous than having an NHL team in Columbus is having one in Cleveland. Ohio is the worst state in the Union for pollution, worse than Texas cause its really part of Mexico but just does not know it yet, thats why Mex should go to the Stars.

DarthAlexander said...

Ah we're going to probably lose this game tonight. I have no faith.

The boys will be BJ'd like no tomorrow and be all spent fairly quickly I imagine. They can shoot all they want but I don't see them shooting high or often enough.

Steve said...

@Darth I cant understand how a NHL caliber player can not take a high percentage shot most of the time. Due to this failure the butterfly usally wins. The other failure is the giveaway pass, it should happen once in a lifetime.

DarthAlexander said...

Cole would probably have over 20 goals by now if he'd shoot high when he races to the crease. Hell, they're all guilty of this. It's like they're playing shuffleboard instead of hockey.

Looking at video would probably help them but since they don't, well they won't learn. But you'd think someone one the bench might at least suggest it?

The giveaways are too much..that and passes to no one but empty ice.